But He Knows!

Rigidity has been discussed in this series on social understanding. Today is the last topic that is being considered. It is communication. Many times it is said, BEHAVIOR is COMMUNICATION. There is a lot of truth in that but what is it communicating? One possible thing that it tells others, they may not be communicating well.

Many times it is assumed he knows what is expected. He's not scared. He gets it. I have had this attitude many times and later figured out that a child didn't understand. I have found that many times what other children just know elude a child who shows rigidity in many social situations. He doesn't understand how the world works. Sometimes, this child REALLY doesn't understand.

This week I was doing a social skills lesson with a child on how to figure out what to do in group situations without having someone tell him. It was about observing others in the group and copying the group's behavior. If everyone is sitting cross cross applesauce on the carpet and he is not, he needs to correct that and sit the way others are. Even with a book that explained this, he demonstrated lack of understanding when I gave him examples and asked questions. I added math manipulatives to illustrate. He didn't understand until I made it visual with the math chips.

Things that I often feel are easy bring on rigid behavior with a child. It is helpful to break the skill down and communicate it in small parts visually. If the "lightbulb" doesn't go on or he can't answer questions about how to apply this, communication is the issue. It may take breaking the skill into smaller parts and communicating each part before understanding takes place. When he "gets it" rigidity will come down.

It takes a lot of wisdom and patience to deal with rigid behavior. I do promise, it gets easier for most people with practice. Practice doesn't make perfect but it sure helps!

 

 

 

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