Am I the Only One? That is a question a mom often asks about advocating for her child? Many a families have a husband that also advocates but is there anyone else? It seems to be rare, but sometimes a grandparent will? As a close relative, it’s hard if there is no one else that can help in the advocating process. Moms, dads and grandparents are so close to the situation. They need some help and often times some perspective. The big question is how to get that perspective.
I remember in elementary school, my son’s school counselor was always thinking, “How will this situation affect my son.” I trusted her and could be honest with her about what I felt was needed at school. If it was feasible, it was done! What a relief. I learned I needed an advocate for my son at his school.
When he got to jr. high, we went a year without the “on-site” advocate. Life was much tougher for me trying to monitor my son’s school life without that person who addressed some of his unique needs at school. We identified his talented and gifted teacher as his advocate and she served in that capacity until he graduated from high school. When a teacher didn’t understand why an accommodation was necessary or thought my son just wasn’t trying, she was there giving a different perspective. At times, she would tell a teacher, you don’t have to do this accommodation but he will not do as well and your life as a teacher will be much more difficult because of how he will react. She knew my son. He felt comfortable with her and would share things with her that no other teacher would understand. This enabled her to advocate for him more effectively.
It is a very special thing to find others who can help in the advocating process. I serve in that capacity for many of the children I tutor. I can support the child but I also support the parents. Especially, the mom. A mom wants everything to be ok but she gets tired and emotional through the years of advocating. She needs someone that will walk along side and take some of pressure from her very full plate.
Mom,it's work finding a non-family advocate that you trust. It will make a huge difference in your life.
