Have you noticed that your child has a pretty strong grip on you. This is natural for a preschooler but as he gets older, many children with learning differences needs some encouragement to let up their grip.
Why do children with learning differences feel like Mom is essential to handle life? I can only speak for my situation but I became a problem solver. This lessened my son’s anxiety and he did well when I fulfilled what he believed was “my God-given role” to help him in most every situation.
Toward the end of his elementary career, I started to take some of supports away that I had always had in place. This was quite uncomfortable for him and for me. I had to let him struggle at times. Did I have to jump back in? Sometimes I did, but unless I tried to loosen these apron strings they were going to continue. It was a 3 steps forward and a two step back process but over time it got better.
I worked at trying to help him advocate for himself instead of me advocating for him. I often needed to outline, .”..if this happens then this is what you need to say and this is who you need to say it to.” We slowly moved past these scripts. Eventually, I would tell him if you have any problems just go see ……… Did he call me to do it for him? Absolutely, and sometimes I did. Other times I told him, “I’m not going to do anything until you go talk to your teacher.” I wasn’t always popular but it was the only way to develop self-advocacy.
Remember, as you help your child develop these skills, he won’t say sure. He may cry, whine or tell you he refuses. Don’t be surprised since he’s always had you do it for him. It won’t be easy but it will be worth it.
