As we continue working our way through the essay Trip to Holland, another reality comes forth. The special need parent's journey has lots of emotional twists and turns. One thinks she has "conquered the emotional side" but it rears it's ugly head again. The essay goes on to say..."But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
Oh yes, you get it now. If only the difficulties and losses could be dealt with and the mom could move on, but that's not how real life works. It is as if your losses get rubbed in your eyes like a foreign object. The longer it stays there the more irritation. When something gets in your eye, it's important to remove it as quickly as possible. This way the eye will return to it's normal state without much discomfort. When big life events like graduation, the prom or weddings occur in your friends families, it can really hurt. If I dwell on it for too long, I can become angry and this doesn't help. Sure, it would be nice to experience these things but no amount sadness or anger can change what has become reality. It's good to mourn a loss...very important. After the mourning has occurred it's time to concentrate on everything that your child can experience and set your efforts in that direction.
Proverbs 30:5b states, "weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." I claimed this verse as I mourned through the emotional pain of a miscarriage. It was definitely true. After a season of mourning, there is a time where God shows up with such joy that makes the suffering pale in comparison to the joy that God gives. It often is much longer than a typical day but God keeps his promise. He did it with me and continues to show his faithfulness. The key to experiencing it is this:
Psalm 37:3-6 ESV
Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.
Pray that the joy of the morning will come quickly. Remember, even if it is slower than you desire, (isn't this the usual way?) He promises to ACT as we put our trust in HIM!
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