I remember a TV commercial that asked the question, How do you spell
R E L I E F? The actor proceeded to tell what product that needed to be purchased to have relief. Relief is that feeling I had as a mom when things turned around after a time of difficulty for my son. It was that deep breath I took when I thought I could go on. He and I were going make it. I am one of those who is just fine if my child is doing ok. I have never had tears at kindergarten, high school graduation or college drop off. UNLESS..... My child is not ok. Thriving would be nice but I've learned to settle for OK!! Honestly, can anyone be thriving all the time?
I want to define what I mean by advocating. This is not about dictionary definitions. This is my personal way of dealing the ups and downs of parenting especially to a special needs child. Here are a few areas that are my core when it comes to Peking an advocate.
- Stay on top of everything with your child. A little break is vital from time to time for a mom's mental, emotional and physical health. Too much relaxing may cause the bottom to fall out.
- Communicate, communicate, communicate. I don't think think you can over communicate. With that said, a system must be figured out that is manageable for everyone involved.
- If there are more than 4 emails going back and forth over something, pick up the phone. I believe emails are for quick "cut and dried" issues. More complicated interactions need to be done through a phone or a face to face meeting where verbal and non verbal communication is present.
- Teach your child self advocacy skills. Wouldn't it be great to work yourself out of this job?
- Develop repore with school and others that work with your child. Create a "we are on the same team" and I am here to assist you so that my child can make the most progress. Being a helpful parent goes a long way.
- Teachers have so much to do, resource them on a need to know basis. This can be done little by little or by providing a notebook or short strategies book that you have purchased for them.
- Remember, this is my baby, so those mommy emotions can interfere with being the best advocate. Get feedback from other parents who have been there, your spouse, or a parent advocate. It may help you to hold back from saying something you will regret later.
- Written communication is easy but it is something that is saved and possibly forwarded to people you've never met. BE CAREFUL what you write. Never write an email/text or leave a voicemail when you are angry.
- Don't be a Lone Ranger! Interact and develop friendships with others who have been down this road before. A mentor/friend will make the "hat you wear" much easier.
Join me on Monday's for the next few weeks for more ideas on these "definitions" of advocacy.
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