Here is a little letter I would like to write to every mom especially every special needs mom.
Dear Mom:
You are a rock,mom! You are up late and then back up early to do all that needs done. There are tasks like laundry, grocery shopping, meal preparation, packing lunches and the list keeps going. Now, that is just the regular mom stuff. Now comes the special needs mom chores. There are doctor's visits, therapy appointments, check-ins with the school, medication schedules to keep, meltdowns to deal with as well as visual schedules, insurance forms and IEP meetings. Really, this is just the tip of the iceberg. There is more on your plate than anyone could ever handle, especially for 20 or more years.
I know you can not withstand this pace forever. I know because I tried but eventually it caught up with me. I was diagnosed with mono. I was in bed for almost a year and it was about 3 years until I felt "I was back." I had to let a lot go during those three years. Other people cooked our meals and cleaned our house. I couldn't do it. Why? I was the worn out woman because I tried to do it all and it couldn't be done for years on end.
I needed to learn how to take a break. I know all the excuses of why a special needs mom can't take a break. There are piles of laundry. My daughters want me to be a room mother and I need to give them a little extra attention. There are cookies to make for the Class open house and my kids like it if I make their favorite cookies from scratch. The women's ministry brunch is Friday and everyone loves my French Toast dish so I need to stop at the grocery to get all the ingredients before I do the afternoon pickup. This is the kind of stuff that put me in bed for a year. It was mono that forced me to take regular breaks in this very demanding world of raising a special needs child.
Please learn to take a regular break. It may be sitting at Starbucks and reading a book for a couple hours once a week. It may be finding a morning out program for your toddler and meeting a friend to talk. Do you get away with your husband for a weekend or longer? I know the childcare is difficult and the preparation is demanding but the benefits are tremendous. It may mean doing things very differently than what you want. It may be essential for your physical and emotional health.
Don't wait as long as I did to learn the importance of finding ways to take a break from the intense demands of parenting a special needs child. Mom, I am advocating for you. Go ahead and step out of your comfort zone and take the break you desperately need.
Your Friend,
Ruth
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