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Language is what we use to communicate, right? Yes, that's true but for individuals with social deficits this is a little more complicated. Many of this children (and adults) thrive on talking but is it language that communicates? They are often good at communicating facts but not thoughts and emotions. They are good at sharing information about their special interests. That is where a communication disconnect is often seen. There isn't the back and forth sharing that makes a real conversation. It is often one sided. Because true communication is often lacking with these individuals, they are often diagnosed with a language disorder or another diagnosis that involves language deficits such as an autism spectrum disorder.
These children and adolescents struggle with language that is about emotions, thinking and problem solving. Open ended questions are very difficult. These children often answer them with, "I don't know." If the language is complicated, non-preferred subjects or involves lots of figurative language, the child can become overwhelmed to the point of a meltdown or other disruptive behavior. Other children "freeze" and shutdown with lots of language. These children process language at a slower rate than others causing them to become overloaded trying to understand all that's being said.
Is language bad for these children? No, language must be used with them but it needs to look different. Most parents and teachers use more words when they think a person does not understand. For these students, the opposite is the right approach. Words need to be few but very well chosen. The words need to be concrete. It is important to have a student's attention before speaking. It is important that the adult checks for understanding. "John, what are you suppose to do?" It is important for the child to use his words to show understanding. If he uses language to communicate instead of behavior then you are giving him new skills that serve as an alternative to difficult behavior.
Next week, I will share some phrases and definitions that will enable children to know what to do without showing difficult behavior. I hope you join me for this important discussion.
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