If you are like me, the advocating process went something like this at the beginning of anything new.
- I met with everyone I could think of to advocate for my son.
- I wrote the plan for everyone involved. This includes my son, school personnel and anyone else who needed to be in the loop.
- I reminded my son what he needed to do and emailed his teachers to check how things were going. I learned early on that no news is not necessarily good news. I never wanted bad news "dumped" on me at parent teacher conferences so I contacted the teacher(s) often.
- I gently pushed my son to take responsibility to advocate for himself. In the beginning, I told him what I wanted him to ask the teacher. I held him responsible for getting the information. When he didn't follow through, I sent him back into the school to find out the information. It was gentle but a definite push.
- I found an advocate for him on the school staff. This was incredibly important in junior and senior high school. It was an adult who would advocate with the teachers on his behalf. It was a person who had taken time to understand him. She was a teacher that he felt he could go to when he didn't know how to advocate for himself.
- My son is now in college and he has some wonderful people in his life that understand, support and empower him to advocate for himself. I still interact and advocate with these individuals but it so much less than when he was younger.
- I often get a phone call from my son when he is unsure of what to do. I help him problem solve and encourage him to seek information from the resources that are available at his school. I also help him by coaching him how to be his own advocate.
As I come home from a college family weekend, there is a lot to contemplate. Life is a lot different than a few years ago. I am in the midst of launching my son in the real world. I still am his advocate but I must relinquish this role to my son and others but it must be done with wisdom. There is no perfect way. The timing will different for each child. Be sensitive and consistent and you will get there!
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