One of my dreams for my son is that he is independent and a self supporting member of the community. What does that really mean. For me that means lives independently and he gets up and goes to work everyday. That also means he has a skill to do his work and enough social abilities to maneuver through all the relationships he has at work. Once he is done with work each day, he returns home and manages his personal life so he can do the same thing tomorrow. Most of us do this plus many other responsibilities. So what's the big deal? Well, my son has a mild form of autism. He has made lots of progress but doesn't have all the skills he needs for this dream to be realized.
Let me say that it would be far easier to let my son sit in the basement of our house and play video games for the rest of his life. He would pick that if I gave him the choice. You see, what he has to do everyday is very difficult. He has to adapt to a world that operates in a way that's foreign to him. Yes, it takes a lot of diligence to not take the easy way out. It takes discipline on his part, for sure. It also takes a lot of discipline on my husband and my part, each day.
Many times, our son needs to be convinced to try something. That is no easy task! With a slow and steady wins the race type of mentality, we convince him to do something that is way out of his comfort zone. Sometimes it takes a few minutes and something's take a few months.
When he was 7, that meant he looked in the eye of the lady at McDonalds and asked her for ketchup as I prompted him through the whole event but refused to do it for him. In high school, I told him don't leave school without talking to Your chemistry teacher about what to study for the final. I often told him, call me after you are done talking to your teacher and I will come and pick you up. Now as a community college student, it means if he wants to take his final early to go on a trip with his dad, he needs to talk to his professor and find out if it's even possible. If it is, he needs to find out every step he must go through and do them before he comes home. It doesn't matter that it takes him an hour to do this and it would take someone else 15 minutes. He needs to learn things like problem solving everyday situations if he is to be able to reach the long term goal of being a self supporting independent adult.
Stay the course with your child. The hard work will pay off. It's not easy but it will be worth it!
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