How many times have you heard, "No!! We always have done it this way!" Another version of this is, " We did it like this last time." These phrases would be understandable if they came from a 90 year old. An older individual has practiced doing things a certain way for a lifetime. When those words come from a 5 year old, there is something that just does not seem right. Those who live with a child like this, understand completely.
This creates a thinking problem (I can't deal with change) and if there is no intervention, it leads to a behavior problem. There is a "digging in of the heels." Have you seen imaginary skid marks across the floor when a child is required to make a change. Are there any ways to lessen this response? Let's look at a few.
- Give a warning that the schedule is going to change. It may be as simple as a location change. This warning may be visual or verbal. If the struggle is great, a social story and lots of explanation may be necessary. It may take several times of preparation to help this child handle change.
- It is important to build in the concept, "the schedule may change." When it happens it will not be such a shock to the child.
- As the child is exposed to new things(changes) he may see that he likes more things.
- Remember new is almost always non-preferred and viewed as a change.
- Try using this formula, "half as much done in twice the amount of time." It really works with this type of child.
- Make sure there is plenty of time to make a transition. Often swift transitions are viewed as a change in the schedule.
This aspect of parenting a rigid thinker is hard for most parents. As you gain skills in this, life will become much easier for everyone!
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