We've all experienced it! Our child is told that we will go to the park after dinner and then it happens! What happens? "No, it has to be after my show on tv." "Honey, we can record your show and you can watch it later." The more mom and dad try to reason with this child, the more rigid he becomes. If this continues, rigidity turns into a meltdown.
How do parents figure out why there is such rigidity. It might be because it is a change in routine. Does he normally go to the park after watching his show? Well, if that's not it then there may be another reason. The problem that occurs with a rigid thinker is that he often struggles with identifying and communicating what is causing him anxiety about this scenario.
There is the immediate problem and the long term issue. The immediate problem is he does not want to go to the park right after dinner. Did he have a bad experience going somewhere after dinner in the past? Does he know there are more kids there right after dinner and that causes him anxiety? He may know that all the young kids go home a little later in the evening and he won't have them around if he goes later. My son has always tried to avoid being around young children so rigidity came out "big time" if he thought he would have to be around toddlers or babies. Anxiety is hard to figure out but it causes strong rigidity.
The long term issue is to help a child identify thoughts,feelings and experiences that cause him to be anxious or uncomfortable. After he is able to identify these, he must learn how to communicate them to others. This is a long process. It is a hard process. It is a Important process for the child and his life. Otherwise,he will stay in his anxious state unless he has total control of his schedule and that's not realistic or even good for a person.
This is one of the hardest ares to solve because it teaches a child to be his own advocate rather than relying on others to an advocate for him. This is important......stay tuned for future series to help you to teach your child to advocate for himself.
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