Encouragement comes in so many forms. When a child lacks confidence, a parent's job is helping him believe he CAN DO IT! It often takes more words of affirmation than one can imagine. Other times, encouragement comes in the form of extra support. As a mom, I often told my son when he felt like life was out of control, "I am a problem solver. What do you need?" That support was an encouragement for my son. He didn't have to figure out what to do when he had no idea where to start. This kept him from giving up. That was a way to provide him encouragement to persevere.
Encouragement comes in a very different form sometimes. I have found, at times, my words don't help. If I don't assure him that a situation will change, he wants me to "fix" the situation for him. I have to "encourage" him to do something out of his comfort zone. This is not an easy kind of encouragement. I can remember times my son called me from school when he had an uncomfortable situation he wanted to escape or avoid. Sometimes I felt he needed to deal these situations without my help. He didn't appreciate my encouragement to seek help from another trusted adult at his school. This advice was unwelcomed at the time but it built confidence in my son that he could deal with issues himself with the help of people other than me. Encouraging a child to break out of established patterns helps him to develop greater problem solving skills.
Encouragement comes in various forms. Consistency is a key. Sometimes, it's tiring to give another round of affirming words. Problem solving and assistance also takes more energy than a parent feels he has. The hardest kind for me was when I had to push my son to do something hard. It was almost heart wrenching. I was making him do something that seemed overwhelming. He felt like I had deserted him and he was really disappointed in me. It was tough on me but it has been such a confidence builder. Encouragement is hard work but it brings great reward!
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