When I think of a play date a number of things come to mind.
- Children playing together
- Lots of talking
- A real connection between the children
- Development of play skills and abilities to negotiate so everyone has a good time.
What if you don't have this kind of experience?
As a mom, you turn into the resident play therapist. If your child is unable to play independently with another child, you need to help teach him how to do it. The last few weeks, early stages of play have been discussed. If he hasn't mastered these, he needs your help to do that before he can be successful in more demanding types of play. You may ask, how do I help him? Here are a few suggestions.
- Make sure you are not expecting too much. If he can play beside another child for 15 minutes but not longer, then just do that. After that allow him to go play by himself.
- Keep play dates short so they can be more productive.
- Communicate the schedule and expectations prior to beginning a play date. A visual schedule may help during the play date to remind your child what will be happening.
- Use preferred activities and materials to keep your child interested.
- If your child isn't interested in social play, try using an token incentive system to help him try to meet a small social goal. If you can set things up for success, you will encourage your child to try even if what you are asking is a non-preferred activity.
- If it isn't a successful play date, then it may be a communication problem, too difficult of a skill or you haven't found a meaningful motivator. We will deal with these things next week.
After tackling play dates, this series will deal with more complex stages of play and how to help your child with them.
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