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Today, let's look at a way to help your child generalize new skills to lots of different environments. You may ask, what does that mean? Well, let me give you an example.
I often have needed to "talk a child down" from huge upset. A phrase I have used is "I need you to be ok with this." It is a way of telling a child that I know this has potential to be quite upsetting but I want him to dig down deep and pull it together. It is self calming or emotional regulation. There has to be a willingness on the child's part to choose calmness. That willingness may take quite some time. As the adult in charge, this is about changing his thinking. After the thinking is changed, then strategies for emotional regulation can be taught. Once, he is willing to use the strategies then you can tell him, "I need you to be ok." Once he starts responding well to this label, it can be applied to all kinds of situations.
I help a child generalize a label like "I need you to be ok." I may say I need him to be ok about waiting in this long line just like he was ok with waiting to be called back to the room in the doctor's office. In this case it was about staying calm during waiting in two different environments, a long line and the doctor's office waiting room. The label helps a child know what the behavioral expectation is. It also helps connect to situations that might not seem similar to him. It creates an opportunity to encourage a child. I might say, "I need you to stay calm waiting here just like you did at the doctor's office. You did such a great job staying calm and patient while you waited for the nurse to take you back to the room. I know you can do a great job waiting in line this time."
In order to generalize behavior in different settings, many children need help connecting the dots. This language labeling strategy is a great way to do this naturally.
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