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Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Surviving Family Gathering

Oh, that brings up more issues than could be dealt with in a month long series of posts. Since there is not enough time to deal with what will this aunt think or that cousin who has a child the same age who sits at the table and colors with crayons for hours. This is not the time to tackle all of those relationships. Honestly, most moms with a child with learning differences just wants to survive. I know, thriving would be better but sometimes surviving is good enough!




But how do I survive? How can my child do well with this whole Christmas thing? Here are a few ideas.
Talk to the host of each gathering. Share your need for a schedule with times that the meal will be served and what will there be on the menu. Bring food for this child if you need her to have a specialized foods. Ask the hostess/host for a place she can eat that is quieter and not too over stimulating.
Make the visit short, if possible. This will give a better chance for success.
Prepare your child for the things you are aware. Try to think of possible scenarios that “could” occur. Come up with a plan for those situations. Go over all of these with your child several times.

Take a sensory kit or familiar toys that your child can play. Ahead of time, ask the host/hostess for a space that your child can use to nap or calm down if things become overwhelming.
Take some visual supports to the event that can be used in lieu of verbal communication especially if your child is over stimulated.

Concentrate on your child, don’t worry about what other opinions are. There is no perfect way to parent so don’t let any of your relatives get “under your skin.” Save your emotional energy to parent your child/ren.
Help your child through the gift giving time. This is often stressful and if you need a break (or your child does) take it in another part of the house. Prepare your child as well as you can. This is a time where disappointment can show it’s face. Your window before a meltdown can be short so you may need to act quickly.

Remember, every year is a learning experience for everyone involved. This isn’t a social situation that can be practiced often. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day come only once a year. Often, it takes several years of practice before things get easier. Realize this and try to relax and allow your family celebration to happen. Join in as much as you can but manage your stress. It will help your child.


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