Learning to Love Unconditionally

I remember a few incidents with my son when he was young at church.  Some of these incidents made me aware that I had fooled myself to believe I loved my children unconditionally.  As a pastor’s wife, I was concerned about how we were viewed by others.  One of the ways I felt that I was a good pastor’s wife was to have well-behaved children.  I had all my “well defined” reasons that were very spiritual.  The bottom line was that I loved my children conditionally.  I had no idea.  I was completely blinded to this.

Whenever a problem comes up, it gives me an opportunity to grow.  That’s what happened to me. My son was the third child.  He developed socially and emotionally at a slower pace than his sisters.  There were times that some settings required more emotional regulation abilities than he had.  There were meltdowns in many settings but the ones at church were very difficult for me.  If I was honest back then, I would of admitted that these meltdowns were even harder on our son. 

Over a few years, God gently showed me that I needed to love my children unconditionally.  God graciously used my son and his delayed development in the area of his emotional regulation to teach me to love without conditions.  He wasn’t able to meet all my conditions so I had to get rid of those and love unconditionally.  I know this made me love my whole family differently. 

Living with learning differences helped me to love more like Christ wanted.  I certainly have not learned to do this perfectly but I am striving to grow in loving unconditionally.