“Just wanted
to let you know I got some pop when I was at the store.” Here are some responses that really
discourage me (or make me mad).
· “It’s about time. We’ve been out for 2 days.”
· “Mom,(yelling) it’s coke, I wanted
pepsi.”
· “You lied, you said it was in the
fridge”.
· I responded, “the fridge in the
garage” I hear an UGH!!!
Why ? I’ve often said this trying to figure out, if
I’ve allowed this or is there some developmental issue going on here.
Here are a
few things I’ve learned about children with neurological development issues.
· If it isn’t perfect (in the child’s
mind) , it is lousy. This is a form of
perfectionism and black and white thinking.
· It is a rigid thinking pattern. This pattern is used by children who don’t
understand how the world works to try to slow down the confusion that it causes
them.
· Neurological challenges often show
themselves with a self-absorbed view of life.
This is different than pure self-centeredness as it is a thinking style
that is present when a child can’t understand things from another’s
perspective.
· Mind blindness is another area that
causes issues. Mind blindness is the
inability to put oneself in another’s shoes and see things from his
perspective.
· Many times the child’s
social/emotional age equivalent is younger that her chronological age.
· Executive Skills are often weak which
affects understanding of time (must complete a group of tasks before 10 am then
there will be a reward), ability to attend (or shift attention to a new thing)
and to organize or plan.
· Adults and peers overestimate how
well these children understand communication (vocabulary, non-literal language,
and non-verbal (body language, gestures) communication.
· This child often doesn’t generalize
well. If he is told that he needs to
follow instructions this morning then he can watch a tv show after lunch, that
may not be well enough defined. The
child may have to have “following instructions" defined more clearly. The child may be very good at following
instructions at home but can’t seem to do it when he is taken out in
public.
Today, I am
outlining the core areas that may contribute to the half empty way of looking
at life. In a few weeks, we’ll look at
each of these in separate posts . We’ll
look at some strategies to try for each of these.
Join me on
Thursdays as we look at some parenting ideas to help our children grow in
behavior and attitude.
